February 11

I am at a very overcrowded doctor’s office slumped in a chair waiting. A young man walks in, walks over to the woman seated near me, leans over her and says, ‘I was just checking on you assholes’ then leaves. His comment causes me to look over at the woman. She is cowering and cradling an infant while 2 other toddlers cling to her. She has two black eyes and bruises on her face. It becomes very apparent that she has been abused and that she fears her abuser. I squeeze her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, but I don’t really know what to say. I decide to advocate for her at the desk to see if I can convince them to call her name next. The desk is set up high similar to a judge’s bench. Several people are pushing and shoving to get to the front of the line and I try as well but no one pays any attention to me so I leave feeling somewhat helpless. I walk home in the cold and snow. It’s a long walk. After I have covered several miles it occurs to me that I have forgotten my car which is parked at the University of Southern Maine. I keep walking while trying to decide what to do. At some point, I trip over someone’s wheeled suitcase, but I keep going. I reach a place with an open porch where a few young girls are playing. They appear to be putting on a staged performance of their own with lots of sauntering about and laughing. One of them smiles wide and I see that she has braces.